Two years ago, while working in Sri Lanka, I had the privilege of meeting Joy for the first time. She introduced me to positive discipline practices that completely transformed my teaching for the better. The night before her recent talk, I opened the book we had received during that workshop. The very first thing I saw was a highlighted note I had written on the page: “Connect before correct.” Remembering that, I made sure to walk up and say hello before her presentation began, and true to her name, she received me with pure joy!

Her talk was a powerful reminder of how we can bring our values to life every single day, especially the core values our school has chosen to live by: courage, compassion, curiosity, integrity, and dignity.

Here are my main reflections from her presentation and how they apply directly to classroom teaching:

1. Actions Speak Louder Than Words

During her talk, Joy asked us to make an “OK” sign with our fingers and place it on our chins, but she placed her own hand on her cheek instead. Even though she explicitly told us to touch our chins, almost everyone instinctively copied her visual action and placed their hands on their cheeks!

This fun experiment perfectly illustrated how the brain works: children pay far more attention to what teachers do than what they say. If I want my students to show kindness, respect, and courage, I cannot simply talk about these principles. I must embody them through my own actions every single day.

2. Give the Brain Time to Think

Joy began her talk by allowing us to read instructions on the screen in silence rather than reading them aloud to us. She explained that when a teacher reads text out loud while students are trying to read it themselves, it creates cognitive friction. The brain simply cannot process two competing linguistic inputs at the exact same time.

This was an invaluable reminder for my own practice: I need to grant students quiet space to read and process information at their own pace without overwhelming them.

3. Vulnerability as a Bridge to Connection

Sharing the personal, childhood story behind her name required vulnerability on Joy’s part, but it instantly built a bridge of trust across the room. Citing Brené Brown, she reminded us that “You cannot have vulnerability without courage.”

In the classroom, showing vulnerability does not mean oversharing; it means having the courage to be imperfect. It means admitting when I make a mistake, being authentic about my own learning journey, and creating a safe environment where students feel secure enough to take risks and fail. When we honour our own humanity, we give our students permission to do the same.

4. Listening Before Expecting Cooperation

One of the most striking insights Joy shared was about classroom management and student behaviour. When teachers complain that students “don’t listen,” what they often mean is that students “don’t obey.”

Joy offered a crucial shift in perspective: Children will listen after they have felt listened to.

To build a classroom culture rooted in mutual respect, I must focus on active listening first. When students feel truly seen, heard, and understood, cooperation follows naturally through earned trust rather than enforced control.

Note: I hope this reflection encouraged you to revisit your teaching practices and consider how you can improve them to provide students with better learning opportunities and positively impact the future. This generation has the power to shape the future, with our support and guidance as educators

And, I want to extend my heartfelt gratitude to the American Embassy School for providing this wonderful opportunity for continuous growth, and for bringing in experts who open our minds and reaffirm the best teaching practices.

To my fellow educators, I invite you to take a moment and reflect on your own practice today: How are you turning the values posted on your classroom wall into daily, living actions for your students?